Hi, it’s me. I don’t know if I pissed you off when I bragged about how well C was sleeping the last few weeks, or if I got a little too big for my britches (read: brassiere) when I realized I was keeping up with C’s milk needs at day care, or if I had a little too much swagger in my step about how being a mom was becoming easier day by day, but really, I’m sorry.
This week C has not slept well at all. He gets up every two hours beginning at midnight. He has crapped on at least one outfit a day at daycare due to the freaking craptastic disposable diapers we have to bring him. I can hardly keep up with pumping, and he’s had not one but two bottles of formula this week at day care as a result (cause, you know, starving the baby isn’t really an option). And I am exhausted. EX. HAUS. TED. Like can’t function anymore kind of exhausted. This morning, I woke up in a panic at SEVEN TWENTY IN THE FREAKING MORNING and rushed around trying to get out of the door by seven thirty, in the process forgetting part of my lunch and grabbing shoes that do NOT match my outfit (a true tragedy, imho). My hair? Ugh. And, when I got done pumping this morning, I spilled both freaking bottles on the ground. And then I cried. In front of a co-worker.
And so, I write this open letter asking–no, BEGGING AND PLEADING–for something to give. I promise I won’t brag. I promise I won’t gloat. Just please, let me get some sleep. And please, let me be able to provide the nutrition my son needs.* I’ll be good, I swear it.
*Incidentally, I called Medela about my milk duds, and they were so kind. They are overnighting me some smaller flanges FREE OF CHARGE. If you’re a Medela user, don’t hesitate to call their customer service number should you need something. They are truly kind and seemed genuinely concerned about my ability to continue exclusively breastfeeding C. Honestly, I didn’t think that kind customer service existed anymore.