Things I have heard this week

1- Whilst returning from starbucks earlier this week, I was literally one second late stepping onto the sidewalk after the light changed, and some hillbilly yelled out his truck window, “Walk faster, fatty!” Not even flocking kidding. Now, it’s true, I had a suit coat on, which as Sean has so graciously pointed out, I should keep unbuttoned because “otherwise [I] don’t look pregnant, just like [I’m] a big girl.” (Thanks honey, love you too. Kisses.) But seriously, even if I wasn’t pregnant, who the hell yells out of their car about anyone’s weight?! I mean honestly.

He’s lucky I didn’t dent his hood with my big butt.

2- My boss told me I look like a blueberry this morning.

3- The sammich shop dude starting singing “Purple Rain” to me at lunch.


In other news, it’s hard to tie my shoes anymore. In fact, it’s just hard to bend over. Whenever this occurs, there’s is much heavy breathing and maybe even a grunt or two. Awesome. Also very attractive.

Also, baby’s getting strong. So much so that his kicks change the shape of my stomach. Sometimes when he’s really active I just like to watch him deform my stomach for a few minutes. I love you, alien baby.

Ok, random ass topic post completed. You may now resume your regularly scheduled programming.


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